margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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