If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
