i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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