it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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