I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
