Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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