I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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