that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
