suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
