Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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