rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
