yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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