he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
