Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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