Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
