When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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