I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
