dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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