He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
