Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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