Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
the liver wants what the liver wants
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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