You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
