I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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