hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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