Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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