The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
