I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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