My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
