Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
