Porn is love you can see.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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