Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i think im in europe. pls send help
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
