I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
