Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
