i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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