Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
As shirtless as possible
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
