Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
