check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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