my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
