i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
