so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Your cock deserves a montage
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
