I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
