so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
