I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is Oprah even human
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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