That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
