Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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