Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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