I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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