We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
