worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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