Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
