I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
